A Simple Question For Better Relationships

Being Valentines Day I wanted to post something fitting for the occasion.

The only fitness articles related to Valentines day promise readers a routine for a better sex life (maybe an idea for next year).

On Valentines day lovers celebrate their love for eachother.

But really Valentines should be a day that we show love and appreciate all the people in our life.

For any relationship to work, communication is the most important thing

The following question has improved my communication skills big time, especially with loved ones.

What do I want from this conversation?

That is the key question I ask myself now when having a challenging conversation. It seems to bring my initial goals back into focus.

Growing up, me and my brother and sister used to fight…a lot. We bickered about everything. As we grew up we became closer and closer friends but that childhood behaviour would still show up now and again.

Last Christmas we met up for a family reunion in Phuket, Thailand. It was an awesome and the first time we were all together in over 18 months.

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But during the holiday that childhood behaviour started showing its head again after a few days. It’s funny how you revert back to your childhood persona around family.

I found that a lot of conversations would lead to small arguments and I would find myself forgetting about the initial topic.

I could feel myself getting annoyed and waiting for my chance to prove my point. All that mattered was that I got the last word and proved my superiority.

Then something changed. I asked myself “what do I want from this conversation?”

Suddenly it brought my initial goal back into focus. I didn’t want to fight. I just wanted to have a chat with my siblings. What followed was me accepting their points and listening.

It was a bit of a eureka  moment for me because it was the first practice I had with this method.

This was a trap I continually fell into with my ex girlfriend. We would argue day and night about nothing. I always wanted to be right no matter what. I would never take a step back and ask myself that question.

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So this Valentine’s day, whether it’s with a friend, a family member or your other half, remember the question.

“What do I want from this conversation?”

Allow this to bring you back to what you want from your conversation. It’s okay not to be right in all situations.

It’s also okay to accept someone’s point of view even if it doesn’t align with yours.

Happy Valentines day

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